Extemp Humor

Page 2, Stupid Quotations by politicians

Page 3, More Stupid Quotations by politicians

Page 4, Dumb Remarks of 2005

CHSSA Parody

Top 10 signs that you need to clean out your extemp box

10.  You have a file on Strom Thurmond.

9. You found a copy of Newsweek that where the conventional wisdom lists Newt Gingrich.

8.  You found an article that touts why Al Sharpton will be the next president of the United States.

7.  You have more articles on Bill Clinton than Hillary.

6.  You have articles written by Jayson Blair.

5.  You found an article from the National Inquirer in your box.

4.  You found an article that claims that Lyndon Larouche should be the next president of the United States.

3.  You have two different pages stapled together that are from different articles.  (I've seen this... what type of idiot does this?)

2.  You have articles written by Martin Sheen.

1.  You find a file called the Soviet Union.

Top 10 signs that you are news saavy.

10. You wake up so early that you are waiting outside for the newspaper delivery.

9.  You know the first and last names of more than 20 world leaders.

8.  You know the current president's cabinet from Secretary of State to Secretary of Veteran Affairs.

7.  You have actually heard Kenneth Star speak.

6.  You think David Boies should quit his day job.

5.  You realize that the USA spends more on education at all levels of government that the military.

4.  You get a tan photocopying periodicals in the library.

3.  You can name the entire US Supreme Court.

2.  You know the leader of Dagastan.

1.  You don't every use an extemp box because you can come up with 7-10 citations off the top of your head.

Top 10 signs that you are NOT news saavy.

10.  You think that Kashmir would be a good vacation spot.

9.  You think teachers unions support education reform.

8.  You think the US government spends 5% of it's budget on Foreign Aid.

7.  You think it would be cool for John Edwards to be President so there would be a psychic in the white house.

6.  Your main source of news is the National Enquirer.

5.  You think that putting your investments in Russia is a good idea.

4.  You think Kim Ill Jung is fashionable.

3. You think Al Sharpton is the frontrunner for the presidency.

2. You think that Gray Davis is going to run for president.

1.  You think that the former Iraqi Information minister would make a great leader for Iraq.